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2006-03-27 - 5:29 p.m.

People talk often about the wonders of wisdom and experience.

“Youth is wasted on the younge.” (I accidentally typed that with an extra ‘e,’ but hell, I’m keeping it. Gives it that old tymey ring. Like using a ‘y’ instead of an ‘i.’ (As opposed to an ‘i’ instead of a ‘y,’ i.e. Brandi. (Unnecessary and off topic parenthetical within a parenthetical…yeah, I got a pretty spiffy trademark.)))

I see what they're talking about, but I’m wondering right now if all that knowledge is really worth a damn when it counts.

You can throw out a lot more empathy, and start comparing similar stories with people once you’ve got a good back-log going. It’s a bit easier to understand other people’s lives when you’ve been through enough to have some comparison points, that’s all true, and that’s definitely worth while.

But the idea seems to be that the wise would live life better with all that wisdom and experience than the young. (Almost wrote another extra ‘e.’ What’s wrong with me today?)

I’m just not so sure of that.

Looking at a story, or a situation, be someone else’s, or one that’s distant enough in the past, you can sort through things pretty well just based on the facts and the application of logic and expectation.

But when you’re in it; when the emotions start running you around like a snipe hunt; is there anyone that can really apply all that past wisdom and get their emotions under control?

The facts, and the situation, that you can parse, but emotions always break with logic, and just like love has hate painted on it’s underside, everything you feel generally has it’s counterpoint waiting just a moment away to bug you. Whether it’s really there, or you just create it to balance yourself out.

You have a big success and you’re really happy about it, but then you feel a little weird about letting it known in front of someone who’s having an off day. You get jealous of someone, and then come up with something about them or their life that you feel is negative in comparison to you own. It’s not a wonderful thought process, but it’s an easy defense mechanism.

Any biggie of a sitch you come in on, and you’ve probably got at least four emotions running over the experience at the same time. Throw in your mental rebuttle emotions and that’s a crowded little mind you got there.

All of this just takes the time to work it out. All the detritus gets worked down through time and thought until you get what you get. You shed all the bull and eventually, after god knows how long, get to the place where you know what’s really up, and you feel okay about where you’ve got to. I don’t have a heaping helping of big fat regrets in my life, but I’ve got to say I’ve got a lot of little ones that popped up out of that process.

All the little things you could have done better, or never done at all, while you were whittling away at your big problems. Where do I go? What should I do? How do I get this damn toaster to work? (I got it working, but shoving a fork in that thing…little regret.)

I will say, that it feels like you get a little more control over what you do with all that mess in your head, but the mess stays the same. You may get a little better at not fucking up others with the goo in your mind, but how do you get better at not goo-ing up yourself? Does the seep of experience, wisdom, and logic ever stem the tide of the emotional roller-coaster? I want to just call it emotional maturity, and I know I don’t got it. Action maturity…getting better. Emotional maturity…man, I still suck.

So, I guess, I’ll just leave this open. Let all those rhetorical questions be real questions, and just see what bounces back. It’s more a curiosity than anything else. Does it get easier, or is it just what it is? Is the human condition just one of Logic fighting Emotion and the two battle into twilight.

My vote right now is on the latter, and that’s not too terrible, but it be nice if we could get those two crazy kids to just chill, put down their halberds, (it has to be halberds) and maybe play a little Skee-Ball together.

Maybe the wizened could lead a better life outside, but would all that weird crap inside remain the same? Not unlike the Pog Museum in East Fairfield, North Carolina? (Really there haven't been to many advances in Pog's lately. Not to much to add. (I guess the side question would be how to really balance the two, Logic and Emotion, so you don't act like a nut (crazy kind), and you don't end up being like a nut. (goes with bolt kind.) But that's for another entry. (Sorry, I needed to end on a parenthetical.))Hee.))

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